Back in my state :)

So I've been in california for about two months now. I am beyond happy to be back and that I have a job :) It's not the amazing sound guy that I was going to work for but a bigger better company (Deluxe). I love what I do and have never been more proud of myself. The only thing I'm not liking is that there is such a huge change in culture out here. I grew up in a white ass neighborhood with maybe 10 gay people and 5 deer. Coming out here and venturing down Santa Monica Blvd is still just really shocking to me. I still don't like materialism and fakeness and that's what I find a lot out here. I don't see a point in having a 2000 dollar wine rack or a 350 dollar set of book ends. Just doesn't make sense to me. I also don't understand why the people who scream that the white straight male (encompassing EVERYONE here not just one specific "group") is so hateful have so much hate themselves. I read a blog about west hollywood everyone once in awhile when I feel like being bitchy (yes there are days where I want to be a bitch) and it just FLOORS me that they can post such hateful things about one another and can't understand why the general public thinks their lifestyle is "sinful" and wrong. That goes the same for anything/anyone really. These people preach hatred towards the people who are hating the yet within their own group they hate them as well. Hate is hate no matter which way you look at it.

I am terrible at upkeeping this blog...time for a rant

Over a year ago I posted I was moving back to LA.  I did, got a job working at the biggest post house in the world and now I have an amazing boyfriend, 2 kittens and my own apartment that I furnished from NOTHING.  That's pretty much been my life in the past year.

Now onto my rant. (Be warned it will be sloppy, offensive, tangential and you will most likely hate me afterwards, or I may change your life.  Oh my grammar sucks, deal with it, it doesn't mean I'm an idiot)

For my birthday my boyfriend and I went to Yachats, OR and Leavansworth, WA to my boyfriends cabin.  It was absolutely beautiful and it was the most romantic thing any one has ever done for me.  While I was there I had a sudden realization that the city life is not for me.  I HATE it.  And since then I have picked apart why I hate it and also realized I'm really a bitter racist person and quite frankly I don't care.  I'll be nice to you I won't do hate crimes against you but I have the right to not like you, there is nothing illegal about being racist, just acting like a lunatic upon it. 

In OR I saw MAYBE 4 Mexican people and they made the BEST mexican food ever and were actually respectable and very nice and oh, they were here LEGALLY!

Upon getting back to LA I realized that I'm sure the majority of the Mexicans here are illegal and sucking off us Americans for all they are worth.  I wish I had "welfare living" as a major in college.  And on that topic, I qualify for about -4 (yes, that's a negative sign) scholarships because I am not an Asian American who immigrated here with a hair lip lazy eye and a piece of cloth over my ass.  Or I'm not a girl who has illegally living in America parents.  My parents worked every fucking day of their lives for what they have and since there have been so many immigrants coming in and taking their jobs, they are left with nearly nothing.  The American dream is for foreigners.  ANYWAY, since I have been back in LA I just absolutely hate it.  I live in the fucking ghetto with roaches because I have settled and accepted that this is how I have to live because I don't make enough money to afford an apartment in a good neighborhood (I make 50K+ a year though, FYI *note slight snarky sarcasm*).  The apartment next to mine was INFESTED with roaches and it took me asking one of the seven (7, VII, 6+1, 8-1) people living there IN SPANISH if they had roaches.  As well as the apartment next to them.  I have accepted that this is the way of I life I need to live to work out here and live my "dream" (which I'll be explaining about later).  My boyfriend has made me realize that I am worth so much more than this shitty apartment, shitty car and shitty neighborhood.  I grew up better than this and I grew in a lower middle class (wtf is a middle class anymore?!?!!) family.

**BE WARNED THIS IS WHERE I GET VERY VERY OFFENSIVE AND CONSERVATIVE**

I HATE that there are homeless people on the street.  I HATE HATE HATE IT! Why do I hate it? Because there are shelters to go to if need be, there are small jobs that they can do and work and save money.  Hell, I freaking did it and look at me now?! I Might not have what I want but I am still working harder every day for that.  I don't like that my paychecks get cut into 3rds so I can pay for welfare for the lady down the street with a Gucci bag, iPhone 5, Escalade and food stamps.  This country sucks major donkey dick and we as Americans need to get back to our American values.  Valuing OUR lives over a countries people who BLOW US UP.  For fun.  Every homeless person I see I feel sorry for because they have to have had a family and what happened to that family? Why did that family not try to help them?  Drugs? HELP THEM THROUGH REHAB. That is what a FAMILY is for.  We need to stop being such a selfish country towards our own flesh and blood.  Yes be selfish towards others who come to this country expecting a payout from us but not to your own mother father son daughter and anyone you call your true family. I'm not talking about your 5th cousin twice removed living in an African tribe.  Let them figure life out and how to survive because yes according to paper they're related but they're not family.

Why can't I get proper treatment for my PCOS and fibroid on my uterus and ovaries? Oh because planned parenthood says I make too much money and charges me up the ass to even walk in and get new birth control which hasn't worked and after SEVERAL times asking to change it, they won't.  Just because I make 3200 a month does NOT mean that I bring home 3200. I bring about 2200 home, 1050 goes towards rent, then about 600 in other bills then come groceries gas, and then emergency money if any is left.  I barely have a savings.

Just because I think you should get a job and not take my hard earned money out of my paycheck does not mean I think the world is 5000 years old and care who you sleep with.

I am not a die hard republican at all.  I am a conservative liberal I guess.  An oxymoron. 

It is not fair that I work so you can live, you are not my child I don't care about you and you shouldn't be taking my fucking money.

Ok now I'm just going off really bad and I'm not going to make sense so I'll just top there.

Long story short, I really just want this country to kick out all the non-americans so we can actually be a country again.  And I guess you can say I'm racist but it's only towards people who take advantage of my country and refuse to assimilate into american culture when they are illegal.  I don't call that racism I call that being an American who takes pride in her country.

Nerves of steel...

So I've found a job out in los angeles working for a very respectable sound designer. I am leaving in a few days and the tension in this house is CRAZY. I just need to make sure that I have my head on straight and all will be good :). Yes, I'm scared and yes I'm going with nothing but at the same time I know this is the right thing to do. Although, my nerves are playing a sick sick joke on me right now. I just almost flipped out on this girl on youtube because she looked like she was 15 and had a worse case of ADD than Bush did. SHe was talking about something that she clearly had NO idea she was talking about...Now you're probably thinking "Just shut up and tell me what she was talking about, was it famine, global economy, presidential election??" No...not even close...she was talking about Wella 050 hair TONER...but calling it DYE! Now, I have limited experience in cosmetology, which includes, my aunt being a beautician, living with 2 beauticians and having two friends that went to cosmo school. I've learned a lot but I am no expert. I know what my hair does and since I'll probably never dye (lying, i already did but it was once) anyone else's hair platinum blonde I care about how my hair reacts to whatever product I'm putting on it. I have very very pale blonde hair that has a slight tinge of yellow to it because I got nervous bleaching it for the 2nd time (first time around 3 years ago I bleached it 9 times in a day and I had to have a "mans" haircut). This girl said she went to sally's beauty and asked for grey hair dye that was permanent and the lady laughed in her face and said there's no such thing as grey hair dye and the 15 year old looking girl pouted said you're dumb for going to beauty school cause it didn't work (something like that) and walked off...Let me evaluate this statement in the way that she carried herself and translate it for you into non-ADD 24(ish) year old terms.

Went to Sally's beauty...ok not ADD but we're just beginning...she probably waltzed her little wanna be Scene punk ass into the store and with a whiny pitched voice and attention span of a gold fish mind asked the lady...

Asked for grey hair dye that was permanent...She probably didn't ask but demanded (but then again I'm stressed and PMSy so I'm over evaluating stupidity at this point, bare with me) for grey hair dye...GREY HAIR DYE??!?!?!?! You don't DYE your hair grey, you TONE it grey...that was permanent...*facepalm pop a xanex-vodka-ambien latte* The notion of permanent hair dye is that you are lifting color and depositing color. You don't lift your hair and deposit it to grey, you lift your hair using BLEACH to a banana yellow color then TONE it, thus making it permanent you can't have temporary grey hair (4-6 weeks temp) unless you spray your hair with grey hairspray every day. That is what you have a toner for. Think of it like this, you are lifting your dark brown hair (thats what color mine is) to a banana yellow which is a HUGE leap, like jumping across the grand canyon. Then a toner uses a lower developer (20 or 10 depending on what the directions say) which will only SLIGHTLY lift it, aka, stepping over a crack in the road.

the lady laughed in her face and said there was no such thing and grey hair dye...I'd laugh in her face too, and the lady was telling the truth.

15 year old looking girl pouted said you're dumb for going to beauty school cause it didn't work...little miss whiney voice (*lets pop a valium*) duck lipped her face and acted like a two year old throwing a temper tantrum. it didn't work? really? she just told you there is no such thing as grey hair dye and you don't believe her cause she went to school for it? what makes YOU an expert (and yes, i know I'M not either). That would be like telling Steve Jobs that he was a jerk cause he had NO idea how to use any apply product even though he CREATED THEM.

she walked off...she probably stomped her ugg covered legging shrink wrapped self out the door and into her mommys 1.4 trillion dollar car and said she should sue them for being stupid (if i could sue people for being stupid, i'd be a f**king millionaire).

That all being said you can tell she put me in a foul hair mood today but like i said, it's probably my stress levels are peaking and I have pms so in a week i might look at her and completely understand her 15 year old side.

NOW onto how I did my hair...(you didn't think i wouldn't put another 2 cents in would you?)

I first had my hair bleached and colored (i have two colored hair) by my hair stylist that i spent 150 dollars on, and 5 hours in a salon to get. from my ears forward is blonde and from the ears back is dark brown/reddish. She first bleached my hair with foils and put me under a cooker to bake for 40 minuets while i played fruit ninja on my iphone. then she had someone wash and blow my hair out, after that she put a toner on my hair for about 35 minutes, washed it out and proceeded to cut and style it. oh while she was bleaching it she also dyed the back of it but that is irrelevant. it looked wonderful except that where my virgin hair was, was white and the rest was banana yellow cause i had dye on it before. I didn't mind because I had purple shimmer lights shampoo by loreal that would help it and I knew that my hair had to oxidize over the next week. Sure enough over the next week of purple shampooing and oxidizing my hair looked a beautiful platinum blonde!

10 weeks later...

I still didn't have a job and was flat broke and had about 2 inches of growth in my hair...so I decided to do it myself...kinda...my friends friend, who just graduated beauty school, said she would do my hair for me. we got through one section of my blonde and ran out of foils and she decided she wanted to go partying so I was left with this weird streak in my hair and the back dyed almost black. I was pissed and hurt so I said eff this I'm doing it myself. So I went to good ol' google and googled, how to bleach hair platinum blonde and got this great tutorial so I decided to go with it, I mean what the hell, if it fried at least I know i could look good with a man hair cut. I went to Sally's and got Quick Blue hair bleach (kalidicolor [i think thats how you spell it] lifts faster but I left it ontoo long one time and fried my bangs), developer (30 volume and 20 volume), Wella hair toner in 18t or something like that, and Ardell red cold correcter packets. I spent like 15 bucks on everything (maybe a few more or less, I don't remember) and decided I'd have a beer and bleach my hair.

It took me a little while to figure out how to section my hair off so i didn't get the brown bleached and have some orange hair going on but once I did, i applied the bleach to my ROOTS REGROWTH ONLY and let it sit for about 45 minutes cause i was scared i'd fry it off. I did not apply heat but after the way it turned out I will next time. then I washed it and dried it and sectioned it off...then my little sister called me and asked me to get her drunk ass from a party...so as atttractive as i looked with my hair all pinned up, in my pj's i headed off to a party to pick her up...and her 2 friends...then i had to go into public again and get gas for my car, that was a very humbling experience that i'd like to do again. i helped carry a friend in and threw her on the bed before dropping everyone else off and coming back home (oh fyi, my little sisters really not my sister, i just remember when she was born and we've grown up as sisters). back to bleaching...

I got home, fell down the back stairs into my bathroom cause my cat (an entire blog entry later) likes to trip and terrorize people, then mixed my Wella toner with 20 volume and put the ardell packet in there and went to town toning my ENTIRE BLONDE SECTION OF HAIR, yes the roots and tips. I let that sit for 45 minutes then hopped in the shower (fyi 330 is not an ideal time to shower with a mom who gets up at 430 for work and the bathroom upstairs being right next to her bedroom). I got out and my hair looked AWESOME! I had screwed it up a little bit in the back cause I didn't get the roots of one blonde section and it turned out a little orangey but for doing this the first time, the RIGHT way, I was stoked with the results! Next time I'm going for a more platinum color, and I'm gonna let the bleach sit for longer, with heat so I get one even tone. Right now, I have about 4 different blondes in my hair but it doesn't look bad at all, I just want it different. My hair isn't damaged at all but I still trimmed it anyway.

That's about it...I'll probably post a blog about how to bleach hair when I get back out to LA and get my own place, So for now, read through my crazy antics or just go to

http://www.squidoo.com/bleachyourhair

and check it out. thats how I learned how to bleach my hair :)

First day of p90x

"So I just got done with my p90x and I had to stop about half way through. My arms have turned to goo and I really can't even bend them to do push ups anymore. I really want to"

That was the beginning of my blog that I was gonna write after I decided to stop in the middle of doing the work out cause I just couldn't do it. BUT! I said I had a goal and I want to keep that goal so I finished the arm work out!!! And yes, my arms hurt and yes my form was quite bad on some things but good on the other. I never thought this, but I'm actually proud of myself for pushing through it!! The Ab Ripper X though killed me. I did stop that, I'm not able to do the work outs right now at all, I could barely do a sit up, I'm not joking. I managed to get through 10 sit up things ( i can't remember the name right now ) and I just couldn't do it, my body would not lift my weight up off the floor. SO for now, I'm going to stop it and maybe when I lose some weight and what not it'll help a bit more to get me through the ab work out. I do have to say for what I did though, my lower abs KILLLLLLLL, which is good, I wanted to work out my lower abs. I can do this! I KNOW I can!! But for now, I'm gonna let my arms go to goooo and then continue on the rest of my day job hunting :)

New Years Resolutions

I never thought I'd actually want to set new years resolutions, but I do this year. I'm determined to learn Italian only for the sheer fact that I am trying to forget Spanish and failing miserably at it. Le gasp* BUT WHY JENN EVERYONE IN AMERICA SHOULD KNOW SPANISH?!?!?! Le reply, I want to forget spanish BECAUSE I am American, I should not have to have a mandatory qualification to get a job that involves me knowing spanish. I speak american, it should be on my own free will and not implied, required or forced to learn another language. It's a sad day when I have every qualification for a job but get pushed back because I said I didn't know spanish (which I'm almost fluent in as an FYI) and someone who is probably here on a fake visa gets the job and can't speak American. So, I'd like to learn Italian just so if anyone asks if I know a foreign language on a job application I can say yes, Italian. It may not seem like a big deal, but it irks me to no end. TWO! I want to get healthy, yeah I know typical but I am so outta shape I've become a round shape and I'd like to be able to actually feel comfortable in my own skin again. I'm definitely gonna get on my P90X as soon as I can. Three, I want to get a job that I can be at for at least the next several years and not have to worry I'm going to lose it. I'm determined to learn every possible program I can so I can be qualified for as many jobs as I can. What else...I'm not to sure...but I'll try really hard to keep this blog up to date for the few readers I do have :). For now CIAO!